Have you every shouted at the screen and shook your head during a scary movie at the stupidity of the characters?
You know the moment when you roll your eyes when they enter a dark attic unarmed to check if that’s where the footsteps are coming from. You just can’t believe that they wouldn’t call for help or run out of the house, while they can.
Or the moment when a group that could easily overpower a deranged killer decides to split up and go in different directions.
Have you ever wondered about the zodiac signs of these characters who do stupid things in horror movies?
But that doesn’t stop me from identifying which signs would be guilty of such stupidity based on their astrological characteristics.
ARIES: The courage of Aries in the face of fear is admirable. They are the trailblazers of the zodiac who love a challenge. But it’s foolish when the challenge involves staying overnight in a haunted asylum where their predecessors all faced gruesome ends. It’s even more silly when they decide to take a long hot bath instead of preparing to flee at night.
TAURUS: Taureans’ love of nature is legendary. They feel a deep connection with natural surroundings. But it’s ridiculous when they wonder around alone in a forest and then get lost in an area without phone reception. It is a lack of good judgement to say the least, especially as they were forewarned that others had disappeared in the same forest under mysterious circumstances.
GEMINI: Gemini’s curious and playful nature can be fun and engaging. Except when they play hide and seek with their friends in a haunted house. Especially after conjuring a malevolent spirit by citing ancient scriptures in a foreign language they don’t understand.
CANCER: The sentimental nature of Cancerians can be sweet and endearing. But not so much when they run back to the house of a serial killer to retrieve their prized possession – grandma’s pendant. Even grandma is shaking her head in disbelief from heaven.
LEO: Leos’ tendency to entertain and stand out from the crowd can be amusing. However, it’s not a good time to update their social media feed after discovering that there’s some battery life left on their phone, when held captive in a basement. I understand that the lighting may be flattering for an Instagram selfie. But for crying out loud – call for help before your phone goes dead!
VIRGO: A sign who loves to be of service to others. It’s wonderful that they volunteer to assist others in need. But they’re not helping anyone when getting into the van of a creepy individual to help him move furniture. Take it as a red flag especially when it’s in a dark secluded area.
LIBRA: Relationship-oriented Librans love to talk about the dynamics of their relations. But you know that climactic scene when the captive is rescued by someone they know – that is the least appropriate time to go on and on about how much they’ve thought of one another and how much the relationship means to them, while the captive is still tied to a chair. Yes, the captor was struck in the head with a bat. But we all know it takes multiple attempts to take the villain down for good.
SCORPIO: The investigative nature of Scorpio with their ability to dig deep can be revelatory and transformational. However, they need to tread carefully when investigating a secretive cult with a sinister reputation. It’s silly to not have a clear exit plan before committing to such projects, especially when they know full well that other infiltrators went missing in the past.
SAGITTARIUS: The open-minded and adventurous spirit of Sagittarians can be refreshing. But someone needs to tell them that it’s not “cultural relativism” and it’s not your typical experience of “culture shock” when they witness disturbing behaviors from an isolated community in a faraway land with strange rituals that resemble torture.
CAPRICORN: Capricorns love history and antiquity. But it’s reckless and irresponsible when they open an antique chest retrieved from a tomb of an archaeological site, rumored to be cursed. They should take a hint from the terrified looks of the locals at the mere suggestion of opening this treasure chest.
AQUARIUS: Aquarians are often known for their love of technology. They are the first ones to get their hands on the latest cutting-edge gadgets. But you know they are asking for trouble when they pick up a laptop that was conveniently left behind by an unknown source in a public area.
PISCES: Pisceans can be a magnet for attracting all kinds of forces from the unseen realm. But you wonder why they don’t have an exorcist on speed dial when they move into a mansion they bought in the boonies for a fraction of its original cost. Levitating in their sleep while objects fly around the house is more than just their overactive imagination.
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